Who Is Colonel Mbappé, Dovion's Resident Troll?
A trumpet blares, a message pops up: "The Colonel enters the scene!" On Dovion, everyone knows what that means: Colonel Mbappé has just arrived, and the match is about to get a lot less peaceful. Let's get this straight right away: this character is a pure comedic parody, an affectionate nod with absolutely no link, affiliation, or endorsement from the real Kylian Mbappé. The footballer has never played Dovion or endorsed the game — the Colonel, meanwhile, is a server-driven NPC with a genuinely bad streak.
Colonel Mbappé: portrait of a sneaky hunter
The Colonel isn't a boss who charges into the fray. He's a sneaky hunter: he arrives quietly, slipped into the wake of a merchant caravan, like a stowaway who paid his fare in bad intentions. If you want to understand the context of his arrival, we cover it all in caravans and their escorts — spoiler: they carry riches, and the Colonel isn't there to protect them.
What makes him memorable isn't raw power. It's his style. Where other bosses announce themselves loudly, he prefers cunning, ambush, and a dirty trick prepared in silence.
The trumpet: the announcement that freezes the room
Every entrance the Colonel makes is theatrical: a trumpet sounds, and the message "The Colonel enters the scene!" appears on screen. It's short, it's cheesy, and it's terrifyingly effective. In one second, every player in the room knows one more predator is prowling the archipelago. Some tighten their course toward the nearest trading post to secure their gold; others head straight toward him for the thrill of the duel.
That's exactly what a good io game event should do: change the mood of an entire server with three notes of music.
The scoreboard troll
And then there's HIS specialty, the one that made his reputation: he sometimes rigs the scoreboard. The message "The Colonel is tampering with the scoreboard…" appears, and the rankings suddenly look suspicious. It's an unapologetic troll baked right into the game, and it's probably Dovion's boldest joke: messing with the leaderboard is messing with what's sacred in an io game.
We dedicated a full article to this story: the day the Colonel rigged the scoreboard. Rest assured, though: Dovion's server stays authoritative, your gold and kills are calculated server-side — the troll is staged, not a loophole.
How to react when the Colonel shows up
A few simple habits:
- Take the announcement seriously. A trumpet means one more hunter in the water.
- Secure your cargo. If your hold is full of gold, go sell it before playing hero.
- Watch out for quiet zones. A sneaky hunter loves isolated players.
- Don't panic about the scoreboard. The troll is part of the show.
The Colonel isn't the game's only football parody, either: his eternal rival, Haaland, the boss who bursts in unannounced, deserves his own portrait too — he, of course, has nothing to do with the real Erling Haaland either.
A troll that says a lot about the game
Colonel Mbappé sums up Dovion's spirit well: a naval battle game that's serious in its mechanics but never takes itself too seriously in its tone. Made in France, free to play, funny — and populated with characters who make you smile even as they sink you.
Want to cross paths with the Colonel yourself? Play Dovion for free — keep an ear out, the trumpet can sound at any moment.